I love you

     Love. I find great displeasure in the fact that the English language only has one word to describe so many possibilities for the deep emotional connection one has to another human being. Everyone and their sister writes about it.

 I think too of the complexity of love as it relates to the way it is experienced by the two people it's attached to. For example the love felt between a parent and child compared to husband and wife is very different. In the case of parent and child the love from mother to her child is vastly greater and deeper from the love of a child to the mother, particularly when the child is an infant. However, even within a marriage love can be lopsided or it can come from an unhealthy motive causing either one or both to feel unloved and unwanted. Of course these are only two examples of love in relationships. Most relationships are unique to themselves because each individual is unique. Each one creates it's own fingerprint. But there are a few basic characteristics that allow us to identify it.

      The bible book of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 describes what true love looks like. 1 John 4:8 tells us that it is the very essence of God. Mankind was created in God's image thus we possess the ability to love. Every human has the need to receive it.

      Adam was given a great love with Eve.I often wonder what their relationship must have been like prior to their rebellion. I imagine it must have been the kind of  love that storytellers dream of. A relationship marked by true companionship, genuine understanding, cooperation, good communication, joy, friendship and a true partnership; pure beauty the way God intended it to be. What of passion? Not to be romanticized but one might also assume that their relationship was, on some level deeply passionate as well.

     However, what made Adam sacrifice everything, including that beautiful relationship with his wife? Did his love become so distorted that he lost sight of what true love meant? Did he fear losing her love or respect if he didn't follow her in her course? What did he possibly hope to gain from leaving the protection and direction of God's loving care? What of his love for his creator? Did he stop loving Him? Did he ever love God?

     There is much that could be speculated on in relation to Adam's thoughts but that would take me off into another subject. What I am thinking of is how intense and deep love can be between a husband and wife. How amazing it can be or how that love could become distorted and ceases to be love and one behaves in a way that is indecent and unhealthy for both parties.

     I've experienced a variety of loves in all their complexity. Love between me and my mother, my father, my son, my daughter and a husband. Throughout all the many relationships, each one has been very unique. Over the years some have grown and deepened, one has suffered losses and one hangs by a thread tied to principles. However I had never experienced love the way they depict it in the typical romantic dramas like Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet or The Notebook. It never bothered me because in my entire adult life I always thought that these stories sensationalized and exaggerated romance and love. I still believe they do. In fact I read a somewhat amusing yet pretty valid article entitled: Movie romances: would they really last?, that I think confirms my beliefs.

    Then one day I met a man who made all my teenage dreams come true. It's the first time that I realized just how intense and unselfish love could be. In all my past romantic relationships there never seemed to be a deeply passionate connection either. However, I have discovered that it's possible to find a deep emotional connection that sparks intense passion.

     I admit that our love is still in it's newlywed phase as we've only been together and married for a little over two years. But we're also not spring chickens living on easy street. I turn 42 tomorrow and my husband is 45. We've both got bodies that are showing serious wear and tear! We've got 5 kids between the ages of 10 - 18. So it's not like we are living the life of many typical newlyweds, fun and fancy free. Life is really hard sometimes! There are bills yelling for payment, cars that scream for repairs, schools demanding donations and kids incessantly knocking at the bedroom door.

       Somehow, in spite of the grime of daily living I find myself absolutely positively head over heels in love. This man makes me weak in the knees when he kisses me, gives me chills down my spine when he whispers in my ears, "I love you Sunny", brings tears to my eyes when he asks if we can pray together. I am crazy in love with this man.

     I don't really know if our love is lopsided, but I know it doesn't feel that way. I don't know if I'm just being a typical ENFJ and feeling all the excitement and electricity of a healthy romantic relationship, but I do know that this is the kind of relationship I've always wished for. I don't know if he sees all the fireworks of passion that I do, but I do know he likes knowing that I see them.  I don't know if this euphoric feeling will last forever, but I do know that I will spend forever with him. I don't know if, as life gets harder and we get older this love will still burn like fire or eventually die down to a warm glow, but I do know that I will spend every day trying to keep it a blaze.
     
     I leave you here with all my fragments of thoughts. Take what interests you and formulate your own conclusions. Be inspired to create something new to you. Roll your eyes and scoff at the incredulity of my reality. Create a love you can not live without.