"Fake it till you make it." "Smiles everyone, smiles!" You ever hear anyone say that? The 'smiles' quote is from the late 70's early 80's television series "Fantasy Island". It starred Ricardo Montalbán as Mr. Roarke. Ahhh... I miss that show.
I can still hear my dad saying that. It was usually after a less than pleasant family "discussion" or "pep talk" in the car on the way to some social or educational function where we would be interacting with friends and acquaintances. As kids can sometimes be, I was probably being a brat in the back seat moping, whining or almost certainly being some kind of antagonist to my younger brother. Mom often followed up his statement with something like, 'Just because YOU'RE in a bad mood doesn't mean that everyone else has to put up with it.' While at 12 I resented having to 'smile' for everyone or pretend to be happy, I learned two very valuable lessons.
First. Burdening others with your foul state of mind is simply bad manners. It's not loving or kind. There is a time, place and people to "be yourself" and share frustrations and pain with. Maturity will help you discern when doing so is appropriate and healthy.
Second. Sometimes, when you're outside is saying, "I'm happy" the inside can get on board as well. Now I'm not talking about serious emotional or mental conditions that go beyond melancholy or a bad day. That is something different entirely. I'm talking about the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that will loiter around in your head during stressful, anxious or new settings.
During my lifetime, I hung out with these guys, A LOT! And boy were they bad association.They spoiled quite a few useful habits in my day. In more recent years I've gradually cut back on the time I spend with them. They've never really brought out the best in me. So instead I've started to 'act as if..."
A fellow writer posted this clip a week or so ago and the thoughts there in resonated with me and reminded me of my experiences with 'faking it' and 'smiling'. Check it out and come back to me. Go on, I'll wait...
http://www.hitfix.com/videos/conan-obrien-cant-stop-act-as-if
Something to think about huh?
What I believe is that on occasion we can be our own biggest obstacle to getting to where we wanna go or being who we wanna be. We tell ourselves things like, "I can't", "I don't", " I could never" and so on. All of which prevent us from doing the very thing we really want to do.
One of the many things I have wanted to do was to be a writer. However, my association with the ANTs prevented me from even seeing the fact that I already WAS a writer. I've got a stack of journals and composition books to prove it too. (I'll show you them later.) Now whether or not I'm a "good" writer in the eyes of literary critics is really irrelevant. I write for me and the few dear friends and family who enjoy reading what I write. And on occasion I am delighted by the passerby who reads what I've written and says 'Hey, I enjoyed reading that.' "How awesome is that!" I exclaim. I don't ask for more.I'm really enjoying this road I'm on. The hard part is now trying to balance all the other responsibilities in my life with my new-found label 'writer'. Man I love saying that, "I"m a writer."
So if you are like me and you're not doing something you want to be doing because you're afraid you can't or couldn't, stop NOT doing it and start DOING it. Act as if you ARE and CAN. Fake it until you are making it. Smile until you feel good inside. Tell everyone on the outside who you already are and give your inside a little time to jump on the band wagon. You're gonna be glad you did!
