Friday, November 9, 2012

Perfection in Imperfection

January 1, 2012. Life will never be the same...

Sometimes a treasure can be hidden in plane site.

 Many saw it and regarded it as of little value. Some saw it as less than worthy. Some even looked upon it with disdain and contempt.  

My eyes saw imperfection. My eyes saw sadness. My eyes saw pain. My eyes saw tenderness. My eyes saw compassion. My eyes saw passion. My eyes saw love.  My eyes discovered a treasure.

I am blessed. I've been given a gift and the greatness of the gift is of such great value that for the past six months I find that words fail to come to me to describe just how deeply I treasure this gift. The anxious care that tornadoes around in my heart over how to describe how grateful, happy, and in awe I am over this incredible blessing has driven me here today. My words will fail my heart. I will without doubt be painfully disappointed that I can not express just how deeply I feel for the treasure. However, my mind and heart will simply burst if I do not let out some of what I'm feeling inside.

I am imperfect. Deeply flawed. He is imperfect. He is deeply flawed. Together, We are PERFECT. Sometimes in life we can find something that is without question "imperfect". However, when you put it together with the right kind of support, it becomes, Perfect. Ecclesiastes 4:9,10 speaks of two being better than one. "there is a good reward for their hard work. For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up." I've never known a partnership like the one I have. I have, for the first time, come to know what it feels like to be cherished. The beauty of the relationship, of our friendship leaves me speechless and with my eyes welling up with tears...

Many who know us and our story worried a great many worries. Rightly so. Logic told me I should be very worried. Logic told me that I should take my time... Something else "Believed" differently. Some will say, "Sometimes, you just KNOW." I don't believe you can know. I just like to say that I 'believed'. I can't say that what we did is for everyone. IT'S NOT!  But for us... We are better together than we are apart.

I believe in happy ever after. I always have. I just thought that I'd  have to wait a while longer to find that 'knight in shining armor'. But, I didn't. He's here now, downstairs with the kids, being a loving, caring father to our children. Soon he'll come upstairs, hold me close, fall asleep and snore like a bear. And I'll put my ear plugs in and maybe put my head under my pillow so I fall asleep and get just enough rest to get up tomorrow early to fix breakfast for 7 people and a pot of coffee for me and bask in the love of the most rarest kind.

Perfection in imperfection...


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Craziness...



 Wafting through my mind like razors that nick the threads of sanity. Always pushing the boundaries of modesty. Collecting stress and anxiety as if they were wild daises to be plucked from the fields and placed neatly in a vase for public display. Standing at the threshold of freedom and joy holding hands with love and ecstasy. Chains of imperfection  bind my feet and hold me still unable to move. Fantasies and fairytales decorate the halls. Music and dance swallow my heart. Screams of chaos fill my ears. Fists of fear wrapped around my chest. Light from my eyes lead the way to a path of beauty and peace. 

~ Dream of winter by Natalie Shau