Here goes nothing!

To all my current 11 followers and in particular the 1 that still reads my posts, I say "Well, here goes nothing."

 I have found myself in a very new set of circumstances and these circumstances have allowed me to do something I've never done before. Discover myself. That prospect is as terrifying to me as that poor boy in Norman Rockwells' "High Dive" painting.

"How do you intend to do that?" you ask. I intend to dive head first into a couple of projects that I have been most drawn to and find a great deal of joy out of: writing and photography. I have been given enough inspiration and encouragement from my family and dearest friends to follow through on things that make me happy. My tendency is to over think the process and then quickly talk myself out of it. This time, however, it's going to be different. I'm going to just leap without looking. I'm going to check my ego at the door and let it all go. I'm going to write feverishly and passionately and not worry that my stories are going to be "chock-a-block full of run-on sentences and dangling participles." Thank you Barry Lane and Ernest Hemingway. (A quote from a fun book I'm reading and writing with, entitled: "Discovering the writer within-40 days to more imaginative writing by Bruce Ballenger and Barry Lane) So write I shall. And who knows, you may even find some of my photography sprinkled throughout my blog.

If you would like to share your thoughts, experiences or personal anecdote please feel free. Please though, keep all criticism helpful and constructive. My blog is not about absolute truth. It's a personal perspective of my life experiences and personal belief system.  If you are so inspired to share what I write with others if for no other reason but to share the laughter of a funny story, or the sheer multitude of grammatical errors, be my guest. Just know that I'm a writer in progress. I'm not here to change the world, make a name for myself or get rich. I just want to enjoy the process of learning about myself, love, life, relationships, writing, blogging, networking and any other delightful lesson this adventure has to teach.

Now, deep breath in...  and... JUMP!

Craziness...

 Wafting through my mind like razors that nick the threads of sanity. Always pushing the boundaries of modesty. Collecting stress and anxiety as if they were wild daises to be plucked from the fields and placed neatly in a vase for public display. Standing at the threshold of freedom and joy holding hands with love and ecstasy. Chains of imperfection  bind my feet and hold me still unable to move. Fantasies and fairytales decorate the halls. Music and dance swallow my heart. Screams of chaos fill my ears. Fists of fear wrapped around my chest. Light from my eyes lead the way to a path of beauty and peace. 

~ Dream of winter by Natalie Shau

Courageous & Brave

Blinded by fear seeing no way out, slowly walk, certainly forward. Warm clay, easy to manipulate into what its' master wants. Like hoarfrost in winter their eyes see beauty but beneath lies destruction and waste.

Words make my ears bleed as my heart rises to my throat and it throws profanity about. It rushes from my mouth like a cold north wind. The tears that fall freeze as iced breath cracks the glass. I reach for one and then another. My hand, suspended in the nothingness, my fingers are white and numb in the cold of the dark night.

The apron strings are tied so tight that there is no breath, without them it all falls apart. Drowning, suffocated and crushed. Screams for help frighten the delicate away.

Cowards and cravens dressed for battle, beckon the gentle warrior to fight for them, with insatiable appetites greedy gluttons veraciously devour the spoils and with the fleshy parts of lust fresh between their teeth they beg for more.

Running toward the light, tripping and falling in the tangled web of lies, empty words and pompous philosophy of logic.

Seeing nothing, feeling everything, smell the rain, hear the light. He has freed us all, we are prisoners no more.

~Garden of Shadows: Lunebleu